My Testimony
It Was an Ordinary Day (God & Me!)
It was just an ordinary day (so I thought!) a new year...1970. The end of January, winter. I never have liked cold weather, and dealing with all my deep depression and anxieties, fears...waiting every day for Summer that was still months away! My husband David had already left for work, he had the night shift. I was almost 26 yrs old & was depressed about “growing up.” (I had already been a widow at 22, and I still can’t talk about that horror I experienced all these years later...life was terrifying for me so far! I also had an ex- tremely unhealthy fear or death and daily took valium or some other Rx to dull my panic disorder). Soon it would be dark out again. Ugh! I hated darkness! And my little Punkin Pie, Marlina almost 2, would soon be in her crib for the night.
We had just bought a brand new tv console and I looked forward to at least watching some good tv that night. BUT...an ordinary day would soon be a day that would change my life forever...!!
Our Broken TV, God’s Plan:
In those days it seemed that David’s family was pretty much into playing the real life game of Monopoly. It was so much like the board game. Everyone was always trying to outdo the other. If one bought a new car, the other would buy one more expensive, etc. So it was our turn to buy a big new console TV set. It was beautiful, Spanish style, walnut. Quite elegant for that era. I was really excited about it. Since David worked nights I had a lot of time to myself after the baby was asleep. Now I could watch TV on this beautiful new set. The first night we had it, I put Marlina to bed and turned on the TV; ready to watch a movie. David was at work and I could relax and forget about things, so I thought. After about an hour the TV screen went black. No sound, no picture. What happened? The next day I called the service department where we bought it. They promptly picked it up. It was the picture tube. A fluke. Now what would I do every night? Something else to add to my depression.
I decided to check out the Blue Chip Stamp Catalogue to see what I could buy. I noticed they had a Bible in there, and I had enough stamps. (Some markets would give you Blue Chip Stamps when you bought groceries. You could redeem them for items in a catalogue.) I remembered as a teenager I’d sneak to read the Bible that my mom bought with the set of Encyclopedia Britannica. It always made me feel better, even though I didn’t understand it. Now I could have my own. So I went down the next day and bought a Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Red Letter Edition. I started reading it every night during that week that our TV was being repaired. I started reading the Epistles. (As a teenager I would try to read Revelation, because it had so many red letters. I knew that meant that JESUS was talking, but I didn’t understand it, and it scared me.)
The night they brought our TV set back, I put my daughter to bed, left my Bible on the shelf and got ready to watch a movie. Within a short time the same exact thing happened. Black screen. No picture. No sound. What? How could this happen? I was really mad. But I had my Bible now, so I picked it up and began to read it again. It was a repeat of the previous week. The service department apologized all over the place. They didn’t know how this could happen. It had never happened before. Of course we didn’t have to pay, but what about the inconvenience? I didn’t care as much as the week before, because I was really engrossed in the Bible by then. When I read, I wasn’t aware of my depression or the time. One thing always stuck in my mind, “Why couldn’t I have been born in the Bible days so I could have known JESUS?” Here I was again, back to my same dilemma. It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t I know God? I didn’t only want to know about Him, I wanted to personally know Him, but how was that even possible? It was January, 1970. Wrong century...wrong place...not fair.
The TV came back a week later the same as before, and...you guessed it. It happened again. The third time! God really wanted to speak to me, but I didn’t know it. I didn’t realize until after I met Him that He had this scenario all planned. This last time I didn’t care at all about the TV set. I opened my Bible to 1 Peter and be- gan to read. When I came to 4:4 and read, “Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you...” (cf) something happened inside of me. I so much wanted those words to be speaking about me! Now I was overwhelmed at my desire to know God. I couldn’t go on, I wouldn’t go on without knowing Him. This wasn’t the Bible days, but I knew He could do anything. Nothing was impossible for Him. I must know Him. I must. I was desperate. I began to cry and pray. This next account is difficult to put into words, and it has been over 54 years!. I’ll do my best. This portion is taken from my 1st book, “Higher Ground”....
...I was sitting in the chair in my living room. I wasn’t aware of time anymore as I knew it. It was like I was taken to a place in my spirit where there was no time. I had “an awareness” of my entire life and what it meant at that point. I “realized” that my life had been completely empty without God, even though I was considered a religious Greek girl. I knew I was at an important turning point in my life. I think my eyes were closed, but I don’t remember. The next few minutes would determine my destiny forever. I cried, “God, I just want to know You!” I cried that over and again, but again, I wasn’t aware of time so I don’t know how long this went on. Suddenly I was aware that God Himself was in the room with me. I was terrified, but my desire to know Him “no matter what” was greater than my fear of what might happen to me, because He came down to visit me!! Let me add here that the atmosphere of the entire room had changed! I was aware of God Himself, His Holy Essence right in front of me (kind of like a mist of sorts), so powerful, but not scary AT ALL like I thought an experience like that might be, just POWERFUL!! (I KNEW I WASN’T IN TROUBLE) I REMEMBER THAT I WASN’T REALLY AFRAID OF GOD HIMSELF, BUT I WAS DEFINITELY IN SHOCK THAT HE CAME TO ME!! because I said, “I just want to know You!!" The only thing that mattered is that He was there, and I had to know Him!
The next thought I remember was that little Marlina was down the hall asleep in her room. Was God here to kill me and take me away? I surely couldn’t know God and still live. What would happen to my little girl? What should I do? The God of the universe was in my living room with me and my daughter was alone in her room asleep. Did I have to choose between them? With my head bowed I kept repeating, “God, I just want to know You”. I was determined at that moment I would not live another day without knowing God. (The thought of Heaven or Hell wasn’t even a consideration.) If I had to die, so be it. Then I finally said, “I give my life to You.” I knew I was surrendering everything to God, and He knew I meant it. In an instant I physically felt something from my inner chest start to leave my body. It slowly made its way towards the top of my head. I thought it was my spirit leaving my body, and that I was going to die, but I had fully surrendered to God, and I was glad to finally have this encounter with Him. When “it” got to the very top of my head just ready to leave my body, I said, “Wait!” It stopped right at the top of my head. My thoughts immediately went to little Marlina innocently sleeping in her room. I longed to go to her and hug her, but I knew this was “my time”. At that moment I made the hardest decision of my life. I trusted that God would take care of her when I was gone, and an overwhelming peace came over me. Then I said, “OK...I’m ready now”, believing I was going to die and my little baby girl would be all alone in the house.
The second I said that, whatever that was that was leaving my body (I believe it was my will, full surrender) came out of my body from the top of my head. The instant that it left, I physically felt something very warm start entering into my body from the top of my head. As “it” made its way inside my body (on a straight path right to my heart) “it’” brought a warmth that’s hard to explain, a sweetness, completeness. When “it” got to the center of my chest, it was like a missing piece of a puzzle finding its niche. It was locked in. At that moment my eyes were open and I cried out with delight, “God, I KNOW YOU!!!” Over and over again, with tears of joy streaming down my face, I cried, “God, I KNOW YOU!! I KNOW YOU!!” As I looked around the room, it was glowing with a golden hue. God was there with me!! I KNEW Him!! Marlina was alive and so was I, and I KNEW GOD!!! This wasn’t the Bible days. This was January, 1970 in North Long Beach, California, and I KNEW GOD!!! He loved me so much!! I was overwhelmed!! I belonged to God, and I knew it! I didn’t understand any of it, but, nonetheless, after all these years...I finally met God!
Again, I have no idea of the time frame that had elapsed. I just sat there and enjoyed His love and His Presence. The love I felt from Him was definitely supernatural, glorious!! I had never felt love like that before. There was absolutely NO FEAR anymore. God loved me and “perfect love casts out all fear”.
My next conscious thought was that I was lying down on the couch. I was very tired. Just before I went to sleep, with my hand on my chest, I said, “God, whatever You did here tonight, please don’t ever take it away.” Then I fell into a peaceful sleep, no tranquilizers.
The next morning I awoke on the couch. My first conscious thought was, “God! You didn’t take IT away from me!” I put my hand on my chest. “It” was still there. Of course I didn’t know that I had been “born again” by the Spirit of God the night before. I just knew that now I knew God, the Creator. I lived in North Long Beach, California, and I never heard “The Plan of Salvation”, no one ever witnessed to me, I never heard a salvation message or read a tract, to my knowledge no one ever prayed for my salvation. I was no different from a tribesman in “the bush” that the missionaries spend tons of dollars to go witness to. Before that night I didn’t KNOW JESUS; I knew about Him, but no one told me that I could know Him. I was saved by reading the Word of God! God’s Word is true, every Word. It will NOT return unto Him void. Amen!
After I basked awhile in the love of God, I looked out the window and saw a neighbor whom we all disliked and talked about. I was so happy to see him! I said, “God! You made that man! I love him!” I was just like a little kid, an innocent child. I was new, but didn’t know what had happened to me. I loved everybody, and I wasn’t afraid anymore. I got up, went to the cupboard, took all my tranquilizers and threw them down the toilet. Who needed tranquilizers when God was there?(“In Thy Presence is fullness of joy.”)
And so it begins: the Adventure I always wanted: God and me. More than a Glimpse. ✝️💖
"You Shall Receive Power! (Acts 1:8)"
"...and you shall be witnesses UNTO ME!"
THE HOLY SPIRIT (Chapter 4 from my unpublished book, "Glimpses of God's Glory!")
A few months before I had my Born Again encounter with God, we became members of that Southern Baptist Church. Shortly after that, we met some "hippie Christians" who lived in a Christian Cummune. They lovingly pointed out to me that I needed to be modest in the way I dressed, and I also Ineeded to be Baptized in the Holy Spirit. I asked for proof in the Word of God, and they gladly showed it to me. (Acts 1:8) So, I took off my cascade hairpiece and make- up, and got rid of my mini dresses so as not to cause any "brothers" to stumble. Then I started searching the Scriptures on "the Baptism". I was already baptized in water by that time, but saw in God's Word that there was an outpouring of the Holy Spirit, the "upon" experience , that hadn't happened to me yet.
When Jesus gave His final instructions to His Disciples to preach the Gospel and make disciples of all nations, He told them to wait in Jerusalem until they received "power" from the Holy Spirit. They were already saved and received the infilling of the Holy Spirit (John 20:22), but He told them they needed the "dunamis" power of the Spirit. Well, if the Disciples and the early Christians needed it, I certainly did. So, I prayed a simple prayer and asked the Lord to Baptize me with His Holy Spirit. That was it. No begging or pleading.
For several weeks after that, during my prayer time I'd expeience a tingling feeling inside me. I didn't know what it was, so just ignored it. I also had two dreams of the Holy Spirit being poured out over me, and the people at my church looking at me with shocked faces. (The Baptist Church we went to didn't belive in the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. The pastor told me afetrwards that it was for the early Christians only and that if anyone had an experience like that today, it was a counterfeit from the devil.) When I woke up from those dreams, I fhought they were real. They were so vivid, that all these years later, I still remember all the details.
Besides going to the Baptist Church in North Long Beach, we also started going to the "hippie Christian" Church in Costa Mesa, Calvary Chapel. One night a group of us went to a Christian Coffee House downtown Long Beach, I was having some health problems, so David and i left early. We all got in a circle on the sidewalk, and they prayed for me before David and i left. I found out later that two of them were praying in tongues for me under their breath. They prayed that God would Baptize me in His Holy Spirit for God's added power n my life! (At that time I had never heard anyone pray in tongues or prophesy. I only read about it in God's Word.)
That night David's mother was watching Marlina for us so we could go out. So when we got home, he took his mother home, and i went to my room to pray. My favorite thing to do, talk with God. I wasn't well, but I was so happy. No depression. No tranquilizers. I knew JESUS, we had witnessed to so many people that day, prayed with our Christian "brothers and sisters" . God was so good to me. I just began thanking Him over and over again!
Then I started having that tingling feeling inside of me again. (I used to get that often when I prayed.) This time it was really strong and my tongue was even tingling too! I just ignored how I felt, and kept thanking God over and over again and telling Him how much I loved Him. I couldn't thank Him enough. My words seemed so insufficient compared to how I wanted to express my love to Him! I wanted to be more expressive, but I didn't know how. The only thing that mattered to me is that God loved me and I loved Him!
Then right there in my bedroom, kneeling at the foot of my bed, I felt giant waves of Love being poured out over me (I could almost see them.) I held onto the bedspread so I wouldn't fall on the floor and just kept thanking God. All of a sudden I heard someone praying in another language. It was me! The tingling feeling inside of me became a rushing current of praise and adoration to God, gushing forth from my mouth in a language I had never heard before! Immediately I remembered that I had read if God Baptized you in the Holy Spirit, you do have control over it. The Lord is a gentleman. He doesn't force Himself on you. "The Spirit of the prophets is subject to the prophets." (1 Corinthians 14:32) So I stopped praying in Tongues and said in English, "Praise the Lord!" Then I started praying in Tongues again. My spirit was soaring into Heaven with praises to my Saviour!
I opened my eyes and saw that, just like my first meeting with God in 1970. the room was glowing with a golden hue. I got up from my knes and looked in the mirror, and I was glowing like that, too! This time I knew it was the Holy Spirit. God, in His love and mercy towards me, haad Baptized me with His Holy Spirit. It was real. It was for today. I was overjoyed, buy not with the Gift...with the Giver!
My mother lived in the back house, a large 2 story house, and my brother Mike still lived there. At that time my brother was going to different churches nearby where lots of Jesus People attended. I jotted down a note to my brother, "I got it! I got the Baptism!" Then I went to my Mom's, ran up the stairs and put the note on his bed. I had rto share it with someone, and I knew Mike would be happy with me!
When David returned home, I was afraid to tell him what happened to me. He wasn't very open to talk about the Holy Spirit at that time. As he walked down the hall to our room, I met him. He took one look at me and said, "You got it, didn't you? You got the Baptism!" He seemed angry, so I carefully told him that I did receive the Baptism in the Holy Spirit, but with no details. I was so excited, and wanted to share it with someone in person, but I didn't want David to hear me taking about the Baptism. He was angry most of the time, and I didn't want to stir anything up.
The next morning was Sunday, time for church. I was thrilled! I couldn't wait to go to church as this new me, filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit.
as I walked into that Baptist Church, I decided I wouldn't sing in the choir that day. My tongue still felt different, and I was afraid I might accidentally speak in Tongues to someone. (Remember, I knew nothing about that Spiritual Gift. (I had no teaching on it yet.) So, I sat in a pew at the back of the church and quietly sang. (Adding here , it was rare for me not to sing in the choir, as I was the lead soloist and sang every Sunday, but I just couldn't on that day.) I so wanted to Speak in Tongues. I had to really refrain myself from praising God with my whole being on that Sundday in church. That overflow of the Holy Spirit was still powerfully on me from the night before.
After church as different people came up to me to talk with me, something else happend to me. Suddenly I knew things about the people I spoke to! I knew nothing about the other Spiritual Gifts, like the Word of knowledge or Gift of Discernment, etc. I just knew that these new things happening to me were from the Holy Spirit of God, and i felt Him so strongly in me and on me. And I praised God in my heart, the One Who knew all things, the One I followed...the One I FINALLY KNEW after all these years!
i did make the mistake of sharing my experience with one of our young friends at the Baptist Church that day. I wanted to share my joy with him. He talked to our Pastor about it that same day, and we received a Visitation from the Pastor that afternoon, along with his out of town guest, his older brother who was also a Pastor.
They decided they were going to educate me on how Speaking in Tongues was "prostituting the Spirit and warned me not to hang around those "hippie Christians." I was crushed, so in tears, I told them about my experience the night before, and left nothing out. It had nothing to do with me being with any "Hippie Christians"; it was between Jesus and me! My pastor's body language said it all. After being his favorite singer, the one who loved to testify in church and witness, I was the "black sheep" in his eyes. However, our pastor's brother had a different view of my Holy Spirit experience. (I add here he was also a Sr Pastor of a Southern Baptist Church in Texas.) These were his words to me. I remember them vividly after all these 54 years!
Sister, I have no doubtt what you expeienced was from the Lord! It sounds similar to The Damascus Road Experience of the Apostle Paul. That tells me that you will have a life a lot like his, a life full of powerful ministry, filled with much hardship and persecution, and you will need the Holy Spirit Gift of Speaking in Tongues. Tht's why the Lord gave you that experience and that Gift. But for me, i'd rather not have all that hardship. I'm fine with preaching from church to church. I wouldn't want your Gift or the type of persecution that you will receive!" REALLY?!
I was sobbing the whole time he was talking. He did add, "And I don't believe your experience is 'prostituting the Spirit!' I believe it is genuine, but it's not too common these days!"
Funny thing, that older brother didn't even realize that he was actually speaking a Prophetic Word over me. I regret that I never did contact him through the years and tell him about that. I did try to contact his brother though, my first pastor after I got saved. But, he had alrady moved to Heaven.
I learned a lot after that incident in 1970 at the Baptist Church. We went back to Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa (The Little Chapel in Costa Mes, the Hippie Church where Chucjk Smith pastored, and where I met Lonnie Frisbee.) I saw Pastor Chuck after a Wednesday night Service and told him what happened at the Baptist Church. It was rare for Chuck to tell anyone to leave their church. However, he quickly said to me, "It's time to find another church!" So...we began attending Calvary Chape lCosta Mesa on a regular basis. No one there thought I was 'prostituting the Spirit!' We were all truly a Family...God's Family! ~~